Plus, we can’t help but love this bio’s self-deprecation, in its allusion to the fact that one of his shows is “still airing somehow.”. She also talks about an experimental surgery that saved her life. Recommended by 4 out of 5 people that recommend things. I hope you liked this compilation and will comment below with your favorite bio. All your flaws, mistakes, smiles, giggles, jokes, sarcasm. [Watch Offline], A Nomad in search for the perfect burger. Anything that happens before that is just progress. Also, imagining Mr. Trainor saying, “He who smelt it,” while looking as dapper as he does in his profile picture is a little slice of added amusement. Make People Laugh With These Hilarious Twitter Bios. Charmin, as we know, sells toilet paper. Though, according to HiTFiX (and her impressive Twitter following of 122k), it seems that people are crazy about her — at the very least, on Twitter. I’m so much cooler online. Hello babies! How will I ever get out of this labyrinth? Let’s break down as precisely as we can what makes a great Twitter bio so you can recreate some of the genius ideas below and make your very own. Please insert pretentious crap about myself here. Why get thinner when you can get more dinner? I’m not totally useless. This, my friend, is the reason for the existence of this funky collection. I like to think of myself as more optimistic than that, The spaces between my fingers were created so that another being could fill them. They are super smart, and super scary. It’s simple and to the point. A dream told me to find the product in a dream, Roustabout, gadabout, knockabout. Life is short. If I was funny, I would have a good Twitter bio. Some people call me a Social Media Guru. I have been called a Pollyanna, sugarcoated idealist. Information about your device and internet connection, including your IP address, Browsing and search activity while using Verizon Media websites and apps. #worstdayofmylife. I must say, it’s a noble act; sacrificing a Twitter bio front-loaded with accomplishments. According to her bio, she has a second job as an ice road trucker — hmm — and her tweets are both real, and spectacular. Insert pretentious stuff about myself here. #Psychology #speaking. I always feel sad for seedless watermelons, because what if they wanted babies? Some people aim to save neglected pets. Fame didn’t get to Tom Hanks’ head. An apple a day keeps anyone away, if you throw it hard enough! S P E C T A C U L A R V E R N A C U L A R, Will show ankle for five minutes of wireless. I want to be nice, but everyone annoys me. I’m fighting to get you out of my head but I’m holding onto every word that you ever said. I have been called a Pollyanna, sugarcoated idealist. [From any Device], Robloxian High School Codes – Working List 2020. I have a dream to gain the freedom to help people Through new products, helping then grow through experiences and achieving their dreams and their freedom. Let’s see if I can help you…. In 2013, they were seen strolling down the street on a sunny afternoon in 2013 while having some fun with the nearby paparazzi: In a similar fashion, writers Alison Leiby and Alyssa Wolff have obviously made a BFF pact to dedicate their Twitter bios to one another. Alyssa Wolff and Alison Leiby are stand up comedians and writers whose latest ebook is Marry Smart...OR DIE, a parody of the "Princeton mom." Probably the best meat eater in the world. 160 characters? I am very gucky. Out of about 328 million monthly active users on Twitter, that ain’t too shabby – she’s definitely considered a comedian in this culture, if I had to guess. I want to say I give up and believe it. They are super smart, and super scary. On today’s episode, Emily and Lisa answer YOUR questions! Buffalo, NY resident (and coworker of mine at Mainstreethost), Amacher knows the importance of keeping plants alive indoors — especially since, here in the Northeast U.S., we don’t get to see much plant life outside during winter. What do we love about comedian Leslie Jones’ Twitter bio? Kristen Studard. It’s harder if you’re stupid. So, what does that tell us about her second job? Also, the location being “the den” is on point. I’m not trying to say I don’t want you, because I definitely do. A man of mystery and power, whose power is exceeded only by his mystery. All that’s left to do is for you to actually use them. I’m a Basset Hound aficionado with a mouth like a Syphilitic sailor. Or the sound of that creaky door opening when your ~*cRuSh*~ signed on? It only ends once. We wish eating popchips was in our job descriptions — since, when they’re around, we certainly eat them like it’s part of our collective responsibilities. If you aren’t, maybe you can pretend that one of the questions they answer is your own. That assumption is backed up by TIME, as her feed was named one of The 140 Best Twitter Feeds of 2014. This is a great way of reminding people of your slogan while making a funny joke about the platform you’re on. How to Type Backwards 3 (Ɛ) on PC and Mobile? We’re all adults here, and we all know what it’s used for. Well, if you think of yourself as a funny human being, then there’s no harm in poking extra fun through the imaginative usage of your Twitter bio. Sometimes, I’m sleeping. So you want to hear a couple of general and useless tweets? Waking up every day seems a bit excessive. A very simple dream, mostly involving nachos and beer, but a dream nonetheless. Find out more about how we use your information in our Privacy Policy and Cookie Policy. I still don’t understand Twitter, but here I am. Then I remembered all the small things and I went back to sleep and woke up the following morning. Fascinated by transactional nature of counter knowledge & public discourse in socially mediated spaces which simulate but don’t engender counter-public spheres. I’m going to reveal the two secrets of my success: One; Don’t reveal everything. She stops that madness with a concise, funny quip in her bio: “It’s not real, okay?” Yes, Ms. Rhimes. I figure any bio with the word Oyj in it has got to be great. Like a homeless individual asking me for beer money, I can respect this. We and our partners will store and/or access information on your device through the use of cookies and similar technologies, to display personalised ads and content, for ad and content measurement, audience insights and product development. Roblox vs Minecraft: Gameplay, Graphics, Features Compared, How to Download Netflix Shows and Movies? Copyright © 2020 Maximum Fun Maximum Fun Inc is not a 501(c)(3) charity and donations are not tax-deductible. Great plan of attack but no product yet. Forget love, I’d rather fall in chocolate! Reeling and Writhing, of course, to begin with, and then the different branches of arithmetic — Ambition, Distraction, Uglification, and Derision. if you’re Irish. We buy it. Like all 80s kids, I was so busy being told how special I was I didn’t get that that went for everybody else, too. Because we see what you did there, Comedy Central. Choose wisely. Will work for shoes. If anyone knows where to get some fartons in the LA area, let us know. I watch Jurassic Park every week. Charmin’s Twitter bio is entertaining because, considering its industry, the brand gets the awkwardness out of the way immediately, letting us all know that, hey, quality toilet paper is a good thing … and a good bathroom trip — or, “the go,” as it’s called here — should be enjoyed. As he is also a comedian, we’re allowed to find it incredibly humorous that he mentions in his Twitter bio that he’s still alive, contrary to rumor. Wearing the entrepreneur hat this week and starting a new business. it’s all fun and games till it’s not fun and games. Also, please share with your friends via Facebook and Twitter if you found this funny. I’m indifferent to most items on the planet. Just dropped my new single. And away messages? Sadly, I will never be a Ghostbuster when I grow up.