Need another excuse to treat yourself to a new book this week? George Dent: No, I had a quiet word with her. Henry Davenport: Yes, yes, but on the other hand, you are a self-pitying winger. I have tried so hard to please you! Discussing the case of the Guinness four 2. Shame, I was hoping you'd all died in the night. It is set in the offices of "GlobeLink News", a fictional TV news company. With Robert Duncan, Haydn Gwynne, Neil Pearson, Jeff Rawle. I'm ringing to complain about you giving air time to that repulsive Sally Smedley. Only I've noticed that since that night you slept together you haven't seem to have been out with her at all. I'm in the sort of mood that a eunuch who's just heard about micro-surgery would be in. Gus Hedges: You see, when it comes to sexual interfacing with the female gender group, I've always been caution-orientated due to ongoing problems of an adaptive nature regarding the gooiness factor on the physical front. Henry: Oh yes, they say this woman with the sexual harrasment case may be able to make Bill Clinton exhibit his penis as evidence. Damien Day: And it is in these woods that the illegal hunters operate with the cruel and deadly man traps which can... Gerry: Jeez [sound of being snared and camera goes upside-down] . Sign Man: What's her name, Joy, said she wanted to do it. Sally Smedley: For that remark, Henry, you will burn in Hell for all eternity. You bet. Henry Davenport: Well you might be-hand's up all those men in who here who wouldn't touch Leslie with a barge pole. Sally Smedley: Either I get a formal response to my request for the same lunch allowance as Henry or I shall withdraw my labor. Release Dates It's buried beneath the outer prat. Oh not much. Gus Hedges: I'd just like you to stir-fry a few ideas in my think-wok. Joy Merryweather: He'll never find his inner child. Joy Merryweather: Try sticking to the number of times someone else was there. Helen Cooper: [Gus and Helen are watching footage of Sir Royston Merchant having sex] Recognise that bottom, Gus? Sally Smedley: [entering office, cheerily] Afternoon everyone. Free to roam the high seas of enterprise as the buccaneers of our broadcasting future. Oh, hello Gus. 2 more photos Quotes . Henry: Over the last twenty-five years, I have read the news drunk, concussed, stoned, with a live stoat in my underpants and once, on regional television, with my trousers round my ankles and a Lithuanian prostitute under the news desk! You tell us. We truly appreciate your support. Dave Charnley, Damien Day, Henry Davenport: [all slam down their phones]. Henry Davenport: I'm trying to fill in one of these National Lottery tickets. Isn't it obvious? Re-read this book recently and enjoyed it. Web. Staffed by twelve year-old school leavers whose parents got behind with the mortgage on their kid's pencil and who are now doing times in Strangeways World of Adventure PLC. So, let's show everyone what we're made of and let's jolly well go out there and make television. Henry Davenport: Look, I need every inch I can get. Coach, if I could input into your mental mainframe for a moment... Gus Hedges Gus Hedges: We do rather appear to have an ongoing underwear entanglement situation... Gus Hedges: Susan I feel sure, will be eager to push forward the parameters of her career into new and fresh challenges in exciting fields outside this organisation. Every cow in that herd had BSE but could we get one of them to stagger about in a wobbly kind of way. Sally Smedley: That's funny. Henry Davenport: And her phone number is? : I used to love the TV series that this book is based on & still have fond memories of the classic 'Christmas Party' episode of 1991 (coincided with our team night out & was semi-prophetic!!). I don't agree with financing kidney units by filming gullible viewers riding backwards on unicycles with their underpants over their head. Adored, Channel, Dead, Defined, Donkey, Drop, Inventive, Leash, Off, Show, Time Quotes to Explore You can fool all the people some of the time, and some of the people all the time, but you cannot fool all the people all the time. All right, that's the one Gerry. He even wanted to do a retake on the ashes to ashes bit. : Well, you sound as if you're hyperventilating. Henry Davenport: You know, this whole thing has opened my eyes. Gus Hedges: Terrific. You bet. Damien Day: And now after our six day trek through the hostile and impenetrable Borneo interior, I am now standing just a few feet away from the Bangoan people, a tribe who are still living in the Stone Age and have never ever been seen by a white man before. "Drop the Dead Donkey Quotes." Dave Charnley: No, well we've both been very busy. We've got you covered with the buzziest new releases of the day. George Dent: Do you know your dog's crapped in my in tray? Helen Cooper: I can't believe I'm saying this, Dave, but while I'm away you'll be in charge of ethics. Climbing the north face of newsmaking again are we? It's about time I had the opportunity to show my potential as an international correspondent and Acapulco is the perfect place to start. Joy Merryweather: Oh, she must be a bloody good actress. Dave Charnley: You dirty, conniving bastard! Gus Hedges: Let's operate a zipped-lip scenario on this one. You bet. Henry Davenport: Oh yes, all right, why not? Andy is comedy scriptwriter and performer. Old, raddled, pushy, arrogant, quite frankly, and so physically repugnant I'd rather go to bed with a one-eyed, syphilitic warthog. Gus Hedges I hope you'll accept my humblest apologies. George Dent: [to Damian] That's an interesting low angle shot. Gus Hedges Gus Hedges: Is Mr. Newshound in his kennel? Gus Hedges: I'm setting you free. Henry Davenport: I don't do telethons on principle. Damien Day: [loudly] Hello everyone. Gus Hedges: If Mrs. Whitehouse saw this, she'd have our collective danglies in a Magi-Mix. Helen Cooper: Aren't you supposed to be operating the hoist? [he drops his head in his hands]. Gus Hedges Dave Charnley: You have all the scruples of Mark Thatcher. Cause nobody pushes George Dent around. Gus Hedges It is set in the offices of "GlobeLink News", a fictional TV news company. Let me tell you, I don't need anyone. [the news team discovers that the Senior Staff's shares in Merchant Communications have substantially increased in value, just before Gus walks in]. [camera begins to move as cameraman, Gerry, is stuck on the conveyor belt] . Henry brings his 20-year-old great-nephew to the newsroom as part of his journalism course. Yeah, bad, isn't it? Alex Pates: [to Gus] Call me an old cynic Gus, but I can't help wondering if this concern over Prince Philip's views has anything to do with the fact that you're meeting him at a charity dinner on Wednesday. : It is set in the offices of "GlobeLink News", a fictional TV news company. Drop the Dead Donkey is a British television sitcom that first aired on Channel 4 in the United Kingdom between 1990 and 1998. A brain as damaged as yours cannot sustain life as we know it. It is 31st December 1999. Henry Davenport: I don't know. Alex Pates: Henry, you know the office rules, no fourteenth-century literary allusion before lunchtime. Quotes.net. Henry Davenport: [at same time, on another phone, in normal voice] I have two children and when Sally Smedley came on, one of them was sick and remained distressed for the rest of the evening. Morning talent base. [next take] Behind me, smoke, soldiers burning drugs, there, soldiers, behind me, behind me, soldiers, rugged soldiers, the size of Wales, burning drugs, painstakingly. Henry Davenport: Gus, I'm sorry, I am sorry Gus, but you have to die. The series had an ensemble cast, making stars of Haydn Gwynne, Stephen Tompkinson and Neil Pearson. Lesley: I'd done nothing to deserve it and yet I was totally abandoned. Dave Charnley: [Dave finds an entry for Maastricht while reading through the index for Henry's planned autobiography]. Are the afterburners on full thrust? The drug barons, themselves, may have escaped the net this time, but their evil wares have not. So far, we've got Chelsea Clinton as head of joint chiefs of staff and Socks the cat as head of the space program. Gus Hedges The past always looks better than it was. Alex Pates: [to Gus] I am thinking of redrawing my mental parameters regarding suitability quotient for roles in pivotal to reign. Dave Charnley: I didn't know Gus was brought up religious. George: Yes, that's what it says in the toilets at work! Gus Hedges: From now on I'm going to employ relaxation techniques to turn off stress river and mosey gently down contentment creek. The question is... Helen Cooper: Ok, lead item, got to be Iraq, U.S. surgical strike against two hotel receptionists, and item five, this has come in, Prince Charles has had a security sweep done at Highgrove looking for listening devices. I've just got my hands on this new video, it's, it's rather adult and sophisticated. Joy Merryweather: I suppose I better take my scorpion out of your drawer. I adored 'Drop the Dead Donkey.' With Haydn Gwynne, Neil Pearson, Jeff Rawle, David Swift. : People like me... we waste our lives... for what? Gus Hedges: Morning hotshots. Terrific. I hope nobody's got a HANGOVER. How did you feel? George Dent: Does the Pope shit in the woods? Are we scraping Pete Punter with sexy scoops? Helen Cooper: [Sally is unable to make an outdoor broadcast without a teleprompter] We're going to have to use idiot-boards. Gus Hedges He plays Satan in the Radio 4 comedy Old Harry’s Game that he also writes. Helen Cooper: [indicating Joy] We're going to have to do something about her. Gus Hedges: Coach, if I could input into your mental mainframe for a moment... Gus Hedges: Morning talent base. So, if you feel it is a big story you must go for it. Joy Merryweather: I think he's in an anal interface with a toilet situation. Damien Day: It was then that the fickle finger of fate flicking through his London A to Z picked out this sleepy little post office in Dalston. Gus Hedges: George, can we pool our brainspaces in a center of excellence? Henry Davenport: Yes, why are you chairing the editorial meeting? Company Credits It is set in the offices of "GlobeLink News", a fictional TV news company. Who does she think she is herding everyone around like some Gestapo-trained sheepdog. Helen Cooper: Are you unhappy working here? Dave Charnley: Dinky little fine was it then? Dave: That's theft. You should do, you've kissed it often enough. I'll tell you what, a tenner on the first thing George complains about when he arrives. Time is the coin of your life. Gus Hedges: What stories are we scorching the opposition with today? You hired a beautiful call girl to accompany you to your ex-wife's wedding just to rub her nose in it. Gus Hedges Drop the Dead Donkey is a British television sitcom that first aired on Channel 4 in the United Kingdom between 1990 and 1998. Caroline: I find men such enigmas. Well, butt-kickers, what's cooking? Personally I feel terrific. Gus Hedges: My place is here, with my family of co-achievers. Alex Pates: [to George] I've got another government statement saying that fears about declining education standards are exaggerated, spelt with 3 gs. Damien Day: [reporting from in front of large fires of seized drugs] and so after weeks of painstakingly searching this rugged area the size of Wales finally some kind of reward, as behind me the soldiers gather and burn huge piles of coco leaves and marijuana. George Dent: Oh, wake up and smell the toast. It is set in the offices of "GlobeLink News", a fictional TV news company. You turn up, and the emergency services have cleared away all the carnage so you've got no pictures.