Don’t sleep on the roses just because you are successful. Best quotes about trust issues, trust no one and broken trust quotes, Short Life Quotes Help You Live Meaningfully, Happy Halloween Quotes for Happy Halloween day, “Books say: She did this because. But how come one bag of rice has 48,356 gains and the other 47,998? People who think they know everything are a great annoyance to those of us who do. I would challenge you to a battle of wits, but I see you are unarmed! Every time someone turns it on, I go, “The great thing about getting older is that you don’t lose all the other ages you’ve been.” – by Madeleine L’Engle, ” When science finally locates the center of the universe, some people will be surprised to learn they’re not it.” – by Bernard Bailey, “When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. It's not boring staying in the house for weeks in a row. Let’s do it! Be whatever, because life is too short to be anything but happy. Life says: She did this. I breathe in and out. There's something missing in my life, I just don't know if it's a puppy, a person, or a slice of pizza. One of the best things to do to improve your health is to laugh often. Sometimes, others even don’t want to hear your explanation. You have entered an incorrect email address! I read them when I prepare to go to sleep, after I stumble in life, when I succeed, when I want to relax. I had an extremely busy day, converting oxygen into carbon dioxide. Eat a lot, sleep for a while, and then wake up beautiful. The world owes you nothing. It can be yummy-crunchy or squishy-yucky. Age is strictly a case of mind over matter. Quote about life from a wise man. Cat life mice can foxes be wolves boring frogs but grasshopper let's swan love it cow anyhow. “How you treat others, is how you really feel inside.” 2. I don't want to adult today, I just want to dog. Every day we present the best quotes! The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age. So, if you feel a smile begin, don't leave it undetected, let's start an epidemic quick, and get the world infected! Life's biggest struggle: I need to pee, but I don't want to get out of bed. Because life always goes on. I … You are good enough. Lucille Ball. Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. Size doesn’t decide power. Style. What do I do for a living? You have never experienced true fear until a poster falls off the wall in the middle of the night. Be crazy, be stupid, be silly, be weird. Elbert Hubbard (1917). Actions are always better than any words. It's paradoxical, that the idea of living a long life appeals to everyone, but the idea of getting old doesn't appeal to anyone. Now read it again without the animals. I’m not surprised some people prefer books.” – by Julian Barnes, “Life doesn’t imitate art, it imitates bad television.” – by Woody Allen, “If cats looked like frogs we’d realize what nasty, cruel little bastards they are. Improve your mood by reading these quotes about all the things life has to offer. There is a mistake in the text of this quote. "Emmy, Vol. “Abraham Lincoln, wisdom & wit”, Peter Pauper Pr. Because everything will go through your life soon, your pain, your happiness, your money, your age and your whole life too. Why must I prove that I am me when I pay bills over the phone? “In the Spotlight: Personal Experiences of Elbert Hubbard on the American Stage”, William S. Burroughs (1993). Books are where things are explained to you; life is where things aren’t. “The Adding Machine: Selected Essays”, p.125, Arcade Publishing. In today’s article, I will introduce you to funny life quotes. The most important thing to do in your life is to not interfere with somebody else's life. It’s just been too intelligent to come here.” Arthur C. … I want to be like a caterpillar. So, what do you think about these funny quotes about life? One of the best things to do to improve your health is to laugh often. My bed is a magical place where I suddenly remember everything I forgot to do. After one look at this planet any visitor from outer space would say 'I want to see the manager.'. That's why we call it the "present.". Quotes are not only a sentence, but also a lesson, an experience which you can read whenever you want to learn from it. Did some else call to pay my bills, and if they did, why don't you let them? If you do, you will fail and never arrive at your goal. I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade... And try to find somebody whose life has given them vodka, and have a party. The problem with the future is that it keeps turning into the present. My silence spoke a thousand words, but you never heard them. It is not a stone blocking your way, but rather a ladder that can take you are closer to your goal, that increases your worth. I want to send this funny life quote to people who are hard-working. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter. Set a man on fire, and he’ll be warm for the rest of … Do you agree with Robert? 9", published by Academy of Television Arts & Sciences, 1987. I find more of their meaning even the second or the third time I read them. The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age. It's called tomorrow. See you again! I use three adjectives to describe them: satirical, funny, and profound. Focus on your advantages instead on your disadvantages and prepare to catch chances, you can do anything! No matter what happens, don’t give up. “As a child, my number one best friend was the librarian in my grade school. I hate when people ask me what I'm doing tomorrow, I don't even know what I'm doing today. Then, maybe, we can have a nice conversation about them in a beautiful fall afternoon while drinking tea and eating biscuits. Sometimes I lie awake at night, and ask, 'Where have I gone wrong?' It takes time to wake up all of them up in the morning. So when you do anything, think about what result you want to receive in the end of the ‘sewer’. Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery and today is a gift. In a real friendship, sometimes, everyone thinks they are stupid, but they don’t know it is real happiness. It is a negative message of this life quote. To solve the human equation, we need to add love, subtract hate, multiply good, and divide between truth and error. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life. Comedy, Documentary, www.imdb.com. Spend time to think about what should you do to solve your problems, think about a better future, don’t dwell too much on your mistakes. “ Don’t get sunk in past. They are not for any special occasion. This funny life quote teaches you two lessons: first is the intelligent way to borrow money, and second is: try to be optimistic in any situation if not, the others can take unfair advantage of you. Everything that happens in your life happens for a reason. I try not to worry about the future - so I take each day just one anxiety attack at a time. Let me show you! I'll be lying down on the floor in the sun, you can pet me and bring me some snacks. I love being married. To me, looking forward to Sunday is one kind of happiness. "Blue Collar Comedy Tour Rides Again". A job is important, but you are important too. Math is fun, it teaches you life and death information, like when you're cold, you should go to a corner since it's 90 degrees there. I am excited whenever I read this funny life quote. Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. Improve yourself, find your inspiration, share with friends. Check out more funny quotes:Funny Love Quotes. Everyone has a photographic Memory, some just don't have film. When I was small I thought money and fame brought all the happiness in the world. 1. Dear life, when I said "can this day get any worse" it was a rhetorical question, not a challenge. The hardest years in life are those between ten and seventy. Totally amazed after reading your funny life quotes. “Nothing pains some people more than having to think.” – Short funny life quote. George Carlin on Planets and People “The planet is fine. Just like everyone else. 1. If you have a friendship like this, congrats! If you want to become your idol, behave the same as they do and you will succeed. So don’t ever stop learning new things. I may not be your favorite color but one day you'll need me to complete your picture. Be whatever, because life is too short to be anything but happy. This is also what I want to tell you. Build a man a fire and he’ll be warm for an hour. That’s what people remember.” – by Terry Pratchett, “Opera is when a guy gets stabbed in the back and, instead of bleeding, he sings.” – by Robert Benchley, “I find television very educational. Funny motivational quotes of the day – Laughter is the best medicine in life, and these funny inspirational quotes and sayings are guaranteed to brighten your day by putting a smile. Me: Gravity, mom. Sleep, do some sport, do anything you want, enjoy sunlight, fresh air…. Do not take life too seriously. With so much humor in the world, we’ve collected some hilarious life quotes from a wide range of famous writers, celebrities and thinkers from over the last couple of centuries and beyond. Then a voice says to me, 'This is going to take more than one night.'. Be optimistic! Better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to speak out and remove all doubt. I always say "morning" instead of "good morning", because if it was a good morning, I'd still be asleep. I'm the kind of crazy you weren't warned about because no one knew this level existed. My girlfriend looked fantastic … The problem was, so did her date.” – by Deion Sanders, “There never was a child so lovely but his mother was glad to get him asleep.” – by Ralph Waldo Emerson. It is absolutely true. 2004. Abraham Lincoln (1982). Write CSS OR LESS and hit save. Keep moving! Mom: Why is everything on the floor? "The Mammoth Book of Zingers, Quips, and One-Liners" edited by Geoff Tibballs, (p. 299), 2004. It was here first. Happy … Have a nice day, happy life and I would like to hear about your favorite quotes! Life is a nacho. Life always offers you a second chance. It works like that because it’s a really funny life quotes :D. Challenges you get in your life are same as pressure. Be yourself! I have 206 bones, 650 muscles and 50 billion cells in my body. Improve your mood by reading these quotes about all the things life has to offer. There are good days and there are bad days, and this is one of them. It just depends on how long it takes for you to start eating it. "Mark Twain, selected writings of an American skeptic". Give yourself time to relax after a whole week of working. Thanks for sharing. Follow AzQuotes on Facebook, Twitter and Google+. Looking forward for more. Let’s relax! I actually believed all those books belonged to her.” – by Erma Bombeck, “I’ve learned that you can tell a lot about a person by the way (s)he handles these three things: a rainy day, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas tree lights.” – by Maya Angelou, “Prom night was one of the worst nights of my life. You will never get out of it alive. Now that I'm grown up, I know I was right. Don’t get stuck with your pain. Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Like the law of karma. Great collection dear, loved it. I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. But you are individual, let’s live your own way, don’t try to become anyone else. He told me to quit going to those places.