Congratulations for getting hitched. Wedding is the happiest occasion in the lives of a bride and a groom. Congratulations on your wedding day… I haven’t bothered buying you both a present. The mafia wants either your money or life… Wives want both! It also helps keep your wedding card memory to add some light and much welcome humor. Before you’re married, you will fall madly in love with each other. A series of witty wedding card messages are listed below that capture the humor and feelings of many guests that attend weddings. I guess it doesn’t even exist. If I wasn’t here I wouldn’t have believed it, I hope you have the best time of your life as you celebrate forever. Hold onto them forever!”, “There is nothing worse than a friend getting married. But without them, who would we blame for misplacing our socks?” Janet Periat, “Marriage is like vitamins: we supplement each other’s minimum daily requirements.” Kathy Mohnke, “I now pronounce you man and wife, you may now change your Facebook status.” Anonymous, “If love is the answer, could you rephrase the question.” Lily Tomlin, “Marriage is a wonderful invention: then again, so is the bicycle repair kit.” Billy Connolly, “I love you no matter what you do, but do you have to do so much of it?” Jean Illsley Clarke, 28. Start ready for giving and taking. I’ll tell you the secret of a happy marriage. Murder, yes, but divorce, never.” Jack Benny, “Marriage is a bond between a person who never remembers anniversaries and another who never forgets them.” Anonymous, “An ideal wife is any woman who has an ideal husband.” Booth Tarkington, “Marry a man your own age; as your beauty fades, so will his eyesight.” Phyllis Diller, “The best thing to ever happen to marriage is the pause-live-TV button.” Rick Reilly, “Don’t make love by the garden gate, love is blind but the neighbours ain’t.” Anonymous, “Before we got married, I caught her in my arms. Marriage is a two-way street, so remember to avoid collisions. When it comes time to buy your first house together, I strongly reccomend looking into his and hers bathrooms. May this day forever be engraved in your memory as the day you both made an eternal promise to each other. Hope all is well. I want to see you guys high–five each other like teammates on a recreational softball team you both do for fun.”, “Getting married is like going to drama school. Congrats! That’s what marriage does to you. Before you get married, you will be madly in love with each other. You must get ready to work your butts off buddy, because it’s a workshop where you must work and your woman must shop with your earnings. Happy Marriage. I guess it doesn’t even exist. Happy married life friend, the only friend I can call the best even though he’s shitty at times. Have a hearty day my dears. Copyright © 2013 - 2020 • Michael & Gabriel, Inc. |. Love is the sun that initiates emergence of the flower of marriage; soon the lovebirds will draw swords of never-ending war. I cancelled all my appointments and an important meeting just so that I could make it to your wedding. – Zsa Zsa Gabor, Marriage has no guarantees. Are you wondering what to write in a wedding card, funny and heartfelt at the same time? Marrying a man is like buying something you’ve been admiring for a long time in a shop window. I told you never to get married, but you will never listen. After you get married, you will just be mad at each other. The following wedding day quotes and funny wedding card messages are simple yet funny, and your friend will adore them for years to come. Congratulations anyway. So your time is over for running. Congratulations and a piece of advice: don’t build furniture together if you want this to last! Congratulations on your marriage. Share. Else it’s not that you have any other choice either. Godspeed my friend. I’ll miss the way we sit down to judge others and make jest of them, but now you have to do it alone. No indeed, just giving and giving. When it comes to weddings, the average length of an American engagement is 16 months. I’m going to miss your craziness man. Marriage: Where “Yes Dear” are the magic words. You may love it when you get it home, but it doesn’t always go with everything in the house. Congratulations on your nuptials! Enjoy your special day. The mafia wants either your money or life… Wives want both! Congratulations for signing your life away. Have a great wedding day. As you will be Mrs. from today after your wedding. First, let her think she’s having her own way. Have a wonderful wedding day. Not registered yet? Congratulations on getting married.”, “A man who correctly guesses a woman’s age may be smart, but he’s not very bright.”. Congratulations! Congrats on your wedding dears. Before you’re married, you will fall madly in love with each other. You can also compose your funny wedding messages by referring back to these mentioned quotes and add a few other witty words here and there that make sense. So, let’s have a look at 45 incredible funny wedding messages when you are looking forward to saying congratulations on your wedding in a hilarious way. You’re such a naughty friend and I dare not replace you. Well, now it’s the beginning of the end for you. First, let her think she’s having her own way. It would just be something else to fight over when you get divorced! What you wish the one you get. Weddings are memorable occasions, this is the time where family and friends gather in support of the couple that is wedding. Later on, you will find yourself in the middle of a never-ending war. That way if it doesn’t work out, you haven’t wasted the whole day.” Mickey Rooney. Birthday Wishes, Anniversary Messages, and Love Quotes. Your wife complements you perfectly. Be prepared. Do you know that you are signing a marriage contract which does not give you the option of renewing it every year Congratulations for signing your life away. Do you really want to sign that marriage contract knowing that it has no expiration period? Here’s Why Online Dating Is as Good as Traditional Dating, If Not Better! Marriages are like the cream in the coffee cup. Fun can be gotten from anywhere, especially where two or more people are gathered. You are actually shown some respect when priests asks you to say ‘I do’. Congrats. Whether you need humor for your wedding wishes, toasts at the wedding, a wedding reading or even to wrap your engagement gift in. Do you know what late nights, parties and hanging out with friends on the weekend have in common? Funny Farewell Messages - Humorous Goodbye Quotes, 70+ Wedding Wishes : Wedding Messages and Quotes, Wedding Wishes for Son : Wedding Messages and Prayers, Thank You Notes for Wedding Gifts - Wedding Thank You, Wedding Wishes For Sister - Messages, Wishes and Quotes. The words, “I do” have everlasting effect in the lives of newlyweds. Today is a wonderful day to eat, drink, and be married! This circumstance... Have you ever wondered why it's taking so long to see the results of those diets and exercise regimens you've been trying? Best Funny Wedding Wishes. Congratulations on your union as life partners!”, “Why marry when jumping in front of a train is easier and faster?! No more beers, no more night out with the guys but at least you have a loving wife. When a man opens the car door for his wife, it’s either a new car or a new wife. Congratulations. You look beautiful on your wedding gown, love you and congrats on your wedding love! Don’t worry. Marriage often starts with love and ends on the wrestling ring; I hope your story will be different, by wrestling not on the ring but on bed. I will be here whenever rooting for you guys! “In olden times, sacrifices were made at the altar, a practice which is still very much practiced.” —Helen Rowland, 42. – Minnie Pearl, Marriage: A legal or religious ceremony by which two persons of the opposite sex solemnly agree to harass and spy on each other for ninety-nine years, or until death do them join. Warm up for the greater is yet to come. Except that park is Jurassic Park and the two of you think that your can rule the dinosaurs! “Why buy the cow? When you love a person, don’t hang wallpaper together. Else it’s not that you have any other choice either. An estimated 17% of men are willing to work overtime to pay for a ring. There comes a point where you stop growing, hence it is... Red rash around the eyes can be the result of many conditions. Everyone is doing this job very well who are in this relation. Stay in love, stay married, stay hopeful, most of all, stay together – divorce is too expensive. – Lyndon B. Johnson. • For what to write on greeting cards, emails and letters. The stage of keeping your mouth shut has started. – Mark Twain, I have learned that only two things are necessary to keep one’s wife happy. Leaving freely and happily without any life commitment is the first sacrifice made by anyone getting ready to marry.